The funny thing for me is that as we're now all in for the long haul, my fear and doubt have all but left me. I have such a peace about this and I know this is right for us. I find myself thinking about her, what she will look like, what her personality will be like, how all three of my kids will play together and grow together for the rest of their lives. Sisters have such a strong bond and I'm excited to see her and Reese together. It is kind of like being pregnant in a way, except maybe even a little harder. Like carrying a baby from conception, I love her already even though I have never seen her face or heard her voice. I say that it's a little harder because pregnancy has an end date and you know when you'll be going home with your baby. You know for certain that she'll have a warm soft bed, good food to eat, toys to play with, someone to hug her and love her and let her know how special she is. With adoption, you can only pray for all of those things for your baby until she's in your arms and under your care. I find myself wondering if she's been born yet, wondering how she came to be at the orphanage, wondering if she has someone to love her and protect her until she can come home to me. I can already tell that this will without a doubt be the most life changing experience of our lives. Not because we'll be bringing another child into our family, but because of how this process will change us forever.
Matt and I were joking the other night about how our lives look nothing like what we once envisioned them to be. When we got married, we even discussed not having kids. We wanted to have a life of luxury where we could vacation all the time, have a big beautiful home, have lavish things. Ohhhhh how different it all is now! We have two kids whom I get to stay home with and live off of one income. I'm thankful that Matt wanted that for our family and even more thankful for him and how good he is to me. Our house is messy sometimes and I don't always get to take a shower everyday (shhh don't tell anybody that), our dog barks constantly and bites people, our kids are loud and rambunctious and love each other like crazy! Our life is nothing like what we had imagined.....It is so so so much better than we could have ever hoped for! We see things so differently now. Money and material things mean so little, experience and making those memories together means everything! Don't get me wrong here...we do have a beautiful home, and our single income is more than we could ever need. We have been very blessed financially, and we have been blessed with a wonderful family and friends who love us and are so supportive. I loved Matt so much the day that I married him, but now I look back on that day and know that it was the day that I loved him the least.
I started writing this as a strictly informational post and well....you see how it turned out. Thank you for letting me share a piece of my heart with you even if it was unintended. Well, now that I have rambled on and on, I'll get back to sharing the process of the adoption :) Here it is! I'm going to be editing this as we go along and adding all of the hoops to jump through, not only for ourselves to look back, but for other families considering the process. :) I'm going to try to pin this post to the top so it's easier to see where we are in the process.
1. Apply to Children of the World
- complete preliminary application ($150)
- Provide 6 references/written references sent to COTW
- Obtain abuse and neglect clearances from all states/countries lived in for more than 1 month.
- Alabama, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Georgia, New York, Egypt, Afghanistan, Iraq, Bosnia, Africa. (some countries didn't have registries) :)
- Complete fingerprinting and obtain ABI/FBI clearances ($110)
- Complete final application
- Complete and submit the following documents:
- Certified copies of birth certificates and marriage certificate ($140)
- Notarized Bank letters for each account: balance/deposits for last year, and savings
- Complete financial statement
- Med Care Agreement and Consent to Release Information
- Complete medical exams for all four of us, have them notarized, and have kids' TB tests.
- Provide proof of insurance for adopted child
- Conviction statement
- Certified copy of property deed
- Notarized employment verification letter.
- Another police clearance at the local level.
- Complete autobiographies for both of us.
- Technology fee ($150)
- All info will be given to social worker to begin home study!
2. Begin mandatory pre adoption classes
- Completed classes May 2014
3. Complete homestudy process
4. Register with CARA (homestudy is sent at this time) For
healthy babies and children you may register on the first day of each month
only. There is a quota for healthy babies. They accept the first 100 families.
For special needs, you may register at any time. There is no quota for special
needs.
5. Complete CIS process and receive approval
6. Prepare the dossier for India
7. Wait for a referral. Referral time varies from 6-18 months.
8. Accept referral
9. Wait for CARA clearance (NOC)
10. Wait for legal process from the court
11. Receive guardianship papers from the courts in India
At this point you will decide if you will file the I800 here
or travel to India and file in New Delhi.
12. Apply for the child’s visa. Your child will have an Indian
passport and will need a travel visa to enter the U.S. Return to the Unites
States with your child.
13. Complete the Post Placement visits
14. Finalize adoption through the U.S. courts and obtain U.S.
citizenship for your child.
The cost to adopt from India is app. $25,000. This includes
travel and lodging for two people. We will be doing fundraisers in the future to help with the cost of it all.
CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority)
CIS (Citizenship & Immigration Service)
NOC (No Objection Certificate)
Love to you all, and thank you for following our journey.
