What made you want to adopt?
Adoption is something that we have discussed periodically over the last few years. Nothing serious, just discussion. After Gray was born, I was sure I was done. We didn't want any more children. Our family felt complete. Then, I began to follow the adoption story of an old high school friend and his wife, who were also adopting from India. I followed their journey to get their little girl from her orphanage. As I casually flipped through their story in photos, the image of a little orphan boy stopped me in my tracks. He had these beautiful piercing eyes. The next photo was of him in a corner with eyes closed and sucking his thumb for comfort all alone on the floor. I was terrified to talk to Matt, so I mentioned it to my mother. Her response was not at all what I had expected. She was so supportive and encouraged me to follow my heart on this one. Over the next week or so, I continued to talk with my mother and dug into research on countries open for adoption, the process, and the stories of others following the path to adoption.
I had no idea how Matt would react to such a suggestion, so I just blurted it out during an episode of House Hunters! He wasn't shocked, but said he needed some time to let it sink in. I too needed more confirmation that this was the right decision for us. The following night, we attended a Home and Garden Show where we struck up a conversation with none other than a mattress salesman (Tempurpedic to be exact). Throughout the course of that conversation, we learned that this man lived just down the street from us. Out of nowhere, he begins to tell us the story of the adoption of his son, and then goes on to tell us the adoption story of a family friend from Russia. Matt and I just looked at each other, neither of us saying a word. We felt like that was the confirmation we were looking for to move forward in our research and discussion of adoption.
Over the next month, we continued to study and research international adoption and finally came to the decision that it was something we wanted to pursue. That's when we were led to India.
Why India? Why a girl?
There are many factors that led us to India; some of which I won't get into. After I brought up the topic of adoption to Matt and mentioned the prospect of India, he said that he had been reading about the mistreatment of girls and female infanticide in India. It is heartbreaking, and a very hard truth to accept. We take for granted the value of human life in the United States. Sadly, baby girls are murdered every day in many countries simply because they are girls. I came across a short video on the blog of another adoptive family that sums it all up pretty well. I hope that this helps you all to understand and answers some of those questions. It is slightly difficult to watch.
Other less complicated questions:
Age? 1 to 3 years
How is she chosen for your family? Do you get to choose? We will be matched with a child based on the needs of that child and the current dynamic of our family and household. They work to make the best possible match for the child and family.
How will you handle religion? Will she be raised Catholic? Yes, she will be raised Catholic. We are a Catholic family, and all of our children will be raised Christian. We will, however, teach her about the culture, religious practices, etc. of her native country as she grows up.
How could a mother just leave her baby and care so little? In many cases, surrendering her baby girl is the most difficult and bravest thing that mother may ever do. Many mothers take their baby girls to orphanages to save their lives. In other cases, the mother may not be able to care for her child and again will surrender the child in order to save the life of her baby. Obviously, there are also mothers who simply abandoned their children, and they are found and brought to the orphanage. My heart hurts for these birthmothers. There will be future posts on this topic because it is dear to me. I will have a birthmother to thank for my beautiful baby girl.
How long will it all take? When will you bring her home? This, my friends, is the million dollar question. It can take anywhere from 10 months or less up to two years or more! Right now, we're just getting all of our paperwork together and submitted. It is all very overwhelming. At this point, I have no idea what our timeline will look like.
Again, please ask questions. We are still learning about this process and there are so many things I still am unaware of or don't understand. I will post to this page as we move through the process and hit each milestone that is one step closer to meeting our daughter.
